tanka cluster (from an email to Joy)

 on the edge

of all reason 

blue fire—

tonight i crochet a memory blanket

for the dead ones 

burning a pile of leaves

i hurl 

all my thoughts

and all my emotions

into a steady five lines down

Coka-Cola

laced with Patron...

on this overnight shift 

thinking of 'red scares' and the future

of this floating world 

*red -scare: reference to McCarthyism that swept the US during the Cold War era with fear of Communism etc

barefeet

creating tracks 

in wet sand

down by the beach i watch 

him disappear in waves

empty lobby 

and still

the uncomfortable presence

of thoughts 

and traumas and fears

staring in a mirror

can i smile

can i move these facial muscles

and command them to show a joy

i do not feel

burnt coffee

and this struggle

to feel alive

to make sense of every

inhale // exhale